The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I haven't had any time to paint. Usually, when I don't paint, I get very cranky. I think the only reason that I haven't been cranky this time is because I've been able to steal a few hours to work on jewelry designs. So the right side of my brain has been a little fulfilled.
Danny started a new job. I'm very grateful for this job, when so many people are out of work now. But, this job and the last job he held, don't pay anything close to the amount of money we really need for our household. Our family has been hit by the problems with the economy, but not as bad as some. We were able to sell our house in Georgia, right before the real estate market sunk. It gave us a nest egg, which has really helped. But, that nest egg is getting lean and I'm growing
Sometimes, it's really hard to be around other women artists who are fully financially supported by their partners. Sometimes I think about how nice that would be. To be free to paint, and create without stress. It wouldn't matter if it took a painting 3 years to sell, or even if it did ever sell. You would always be taken care of and provided for. But, then I realize that I wouldn't be where I am today if I had that luxury. I know myself well enough, to know that I would get lazy and comfortable. I wouldn't challenge myself or my artwork. I once heard one of the American Idol judges praise a contestant, telling them it was the years of standing on street corners singing for a dollar that made them so great today. I realized that the same was true for me. If I didn't have to do what I do to survive and provide for my family...I wouldn't be half the artist I am today. It's living on that edge that helps me thrive and grow as an artist.
So, here I am faced with what seems like a monumental challenge. How do I juggle being an artist, a business woman, a mom, a wife, and full time provider for my family? I guess I could go get a regular job. But, I know I would grow tired and frustrated with that, and miss the freedom of creating. I'd start analyzing how much I was making an hour at the job versus how much I could make at home if I just applied myself more.
But, where do I start? Well, revitalizing this blog is the first step. It allows me to write about these things and figure them out as I go. Who knows, maybe it will help others too. I hope so.
Today, it the first day. Today is the first day that I take the first step away from the hole. I will be positive and strong. I will be thankful and grateful for everything in my life. I will be mindful and diligent with every step I take today. I will make great use of the time allowed to me, and not be irritated when things come up or seem to get in the way. I will rest when needed and take care of myself. I will smile and be happy. I will take the time to listen to my kids and give them extra love. And I will especially be thankful for Danny and these challenges in my life...
Everything else will take care of itself today.
I have a great life.